How to Craft Your Essay for the Altemus Family Touch Labor Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a compelling essay, gather material across four key areas:

• Background: Reflect on your personal history. What experiences have shaped your educational and career aspirations? Consider family influences, community involvement, or significant challenges you've faced.
• Achievements: Identify key accomplishments that demonstrate your dedication and capability. Use specific metrics or outcomes, such as grades, projects, or leadership roles, to illustrate your impact.
• The Gap: Acknowledge any gaps in your education or experience that this scholarship will help you address. Explain why further study is essential for your growth and how it fits into your long-term goals.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your values, passions, and motivations. This humanizing detail will help the committee connect with you on a deeper level.

Outlining Your Essay

Structure your essay to ensure clarity and flow. A suggested outline might include:

1. Introduction: Start with a concrete moment or scene that encapsulates your journey or aspirations.
2. Background Section: Discuss your formative experiences and how they shaped your educational path.
3. Achievements Section: Highlight specific accomplishments that demonstrate your readiness for further study.
4. The Gap Section: Clearly articulate what you hope to gain from this scholarship and how it will bridge any gaps in your education.
5. Personality Section: Share personal stories that illustrate your character and commitment.
6. Conclusion: Reflect on your journey and express gratitude for the opportunity to apply.

Drafting Voice and Style

When drafting your essay, use an active voice to convey your experiences and achievements. Avoid clichés and vague expressions of passion; instead, focus on specific examples that demonstrate your commitment and impact. Each paragraph should center on one main idea, with transitions that guide the reader through your narrative.

Revision and “So What?”

After drafting, revise with a critical eye. Ensure each section answers the “So what?” question—reflect on what changed in you through each experience and why it matters in the context of your educational goals. Seek feedback from peers or mentors to gain perspective on clarity and impact.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of these common mistakes:

• Avoid generic openers; start with a specific moment that draws the reader in.
• Steer clear of empty superlatives; support your claims with evidence.
• Do not use passive voice; keep your writing active and engaging.
• Ensure all facts are accurate and verifiable; do not invent experiences or achievements.