Elizabeth Barnhart Mockapetris Endowed Scholarship Essay Guide

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

Use the four material buckets to structure your thoughts and gather relevant experiences:

• Background: Consider your upbringing, education, and any experiences that have shaped your values and aspirations. What pivotal moments have directed your path toward higher education?
• Achievements: Identify key accomplishments in your academic and extracurricular life. Focus on metrics and outcomes—what projects did you lead, what responsibilities did you hold, and what were the results?
• The Gap: Reflect on what you feel is missing in your current skill set or knowledge base. How does this scholarship and further study at Loyola University Chicago fit into your plans to bridge that gap?
• Personality: Highlight personal attributes that define you. What are your core values? Include specific anecdotes that showcase your character and commitment.

Outlining Your Essay

Once you have gathered your material, create an outline that organizes your thoughts logically. Each section should have a clear focus:

1. Introduction: Start with a concrete moment or scene that draws the reader in. Avoid generic statements.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate each paragraph to a specific theme or idea. Use the STAR method to structure your achievements and experiences.
3. Conclusion: Reflect on your journey and articulate how the scholarship will impact your future. Answer the “So what?” question here.

Drafting Voice and Style

When drafting your essay, maintain an active voice and be specific. Use vivid details and accountable metrics to support your claims. Avoid clichés and ensure that each sentence adds value to your narrative. Remember that clarity is paramount; aim for precise language that conveys your message effectively.

Revision and the “So What?” Factor

After drafting, take a step back and review your work critically. Ensure that each section answers the question of significance—why does your experience matter? Seek feedback from peers or mentors to gain different perspectives. Revise for coherence, flow, and clarity, making sure your personality shines through.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

As you refine your essay, be mindful of these common mistakes:

• Avoid starting with broad statements or clichés.
• Do not exaggerate your achievements or fabricate details.
• Steer clear of passive voice; always attribute actions to specific subjects.
• Ensure your essay maintains a logical progression and stays focused on the scholarship’s goals.