How to Write the Desjardins Arrupe to Nursing Essay

If the application includes a prompt, read it slowly and mark the verbs. Words such as describe, explain, discuss, or reflect tell you what kind of thinking the committee wants. Then identify the real question underneath. Are they asking who you are, what you have done, why nursing, why support matters now, or how you will use your education well? Most strong scholarship essays answer all of those at least briefly, even when the prompt sounds narrow.

Your job is to help the reader trust three things: you have a grounded reason for pursuing nursing, you have already acted on that direction in concrete ways, and this support would strengthen a serious plan rather than fund a vague hope. Keep that triad in mind as you gather material.

Brainstorm in Four Buckets Before You Outline

Do not begin with polished sentences. Begin with raw material. The fastest way to avoid a flat essay is to sort your experiences into four buckets, then choose only the details that serve the prompt.

1. Background: what shaped you

This is not your full life story. It is the subset of your background that explains why nursing became meaningful to you. Useful material might include a caregiving role, a clinical observation, a community health issue you witnessed, a family responsibility, or an educational turning point. Focus on moments, not slogans. Instead of writing that you care about helping people, identify the scene that made care feel urgent and real.

• What specific experience first made health care feel personal?
• What did you see, hear, or have to do?
• What misunderstanding, inequity, or need became visible to you?
• How did that experience change your direction?

2. Achievements: what you have already done

Committees trust evidence. List roles, responsibilities, hours, outcomes, and progression over time. Nursing-related experience matters, but so do other forms of responsibility if they reveal discipline, judgment, service, teamwork, or resilience. If you trained volunteers, balanced work with coursework, improved a process, earned strong grades while supporting family, or served patients in any capacity, note the accountable details.

• What did you own personally?
• What changed because of your actions?
• Where can you quantify honestly: hours, patients served, shifts covered, GPA trend, funds raised, events organized, or retention improved?
• What challenge did you face, and how did you respond?

3. The gap: why further study and support fit now

This is where many applicants stay vague. The committee does not need a dramatic hardship narrative unless it is true and relevant. They do need clarity about what stands between you and your next level of preparation. That gap may be financial, educational, professional, or all three. Explain what you still need to learn, access, or build, and why this scholarship would matter at this point in your path.

• What training, credential, or academic step are you pursuing through Loyola University Chicago?
• What costs or constraints make that step harder?
• How would support change your capacity to focus, persist, or contribute?
• What is the practical next step this scholarship helps unlock?

4. Personality: what makes the essay human

Personality is not a list of adjectives. It appears through choices, habits, and precise detail. Maybe you are the person who notices when a patient is confused rather than noncompliant. Maybe you are calm under pressure, meticulous with follow-through, or unusually good at translating complex information into plain language. Show this through action and observation, not self-praise.

• What small detail reveals how you move through the world?
• What value do you return to when situations become difficult?
• What do mentors, coworkers, or classmates reliably trust you to do?

Once you have notes in all four buckets, circle only the material that directly strengthens your answer. A strong essay is selective.

Build an Essay Structure That Moves Forward

Most scholarship essays work best when they move through a clear sequence: a concrete opening moment, a focused explanation of what that moment revealed, evidence of action and growth, a clear statement of what support would make possible, and a closing line that looks ahead with credibility. This gives the reader both story and substance.

Opening paragraph: begin in motion

Open with a scene, not a thesis statement. Put the reader into a real moment that reveals pressure, responsibility, or insight. The moment can be quiet; it does not need to be dramatic. What matters is that it shows why nursing became more than an abstract interest.

Good openings often include a setting, a task, and a realization. For example, think in terms of: what was happening, what you had to do, and what you learned about care, communication, or responsibility. Then pivot quickly to why that moment matters. Do not stay in scene for too long.

Middle paragraphs: prove your direction

After the opening, each paragraph should do one job. One paragraph might explain the formative experience. The next might show how you acted on that insight through coursework, work, service, or leadership. Another might explain the current barrier and why support matters now. Keep the logic visible: because this happened, I pursued this; because I pursued this, I now see this next need.

When you describe an achievement or obstacle, use a disciplined sequence: set up the situation briefly, define your responsibility, explain what you did, and state the result. This keeps the paragraph concrete and prevents summary from becoming vague. Even if the result was not perfect, explain what changed and what you learned.

Closing paragraph: end with earned forward motion

Your conclusion should not repeat your introduction. It should show a more informed version of your goal. By the end of the essay, the reader should understand not only why you want to study nursing, but how this scholarship fits into a larger pattern of service, preparation, and responsibility. End with a claim you have earned through the body of the essay.

A strong final note often connects three things: what you have already practiced, what you are preparing to do next, and why that next step matters beyond your own advancement.

Draft With Specificity, Reflection, and Control

Once your outline is set, draft in plain, direct language. Competitive essays sound thoughtful because they are precise, not because they are ornate. Name the actor in each sentence. Prefer verbs that show action: organized, observed, advocated, studied, coordinated, revised, supported.

As you draft, keep asking two questions: What happened? and Why does it matter? Many essays answer the first and neglect the second. Reflection is where you interpret the experience for the reader. If you describe caring for a family member, working in a health setting, or balancing school with employment, explain what that experience taught you about nursing, responsibility, or the kind of practitioner you are becoming.

Specificity is your best defense against cliché. Replace broad claims with accountable detail. Instead of saying you are dedicated, show the pattern that proves it. Instead of saying an experience was life-changing, explain exactly what changed in your thinking, behavior, or plans.

• Weak: “I am passionate about nursing and helping others.”
• Stronger approach: identify the setting, the need you noticed, the action you took, and the insight that followed.

Be careful with emotional material. If you write about illness, loss, hardship, or financial strain, do so with restraint. The point is not to maximize drama. The point is to show judgment, growth, and purpose. Let the facts carry weight.

Revise for the Reader: Cut Anything That Does Not Earn Its Place

Revision is where a decent draft becomes persuasive. Read the essay paragraph by paragraph and ask what each one contributes. If a paragraph does not advance the reader’s understanding of your preparation, your direction, or your need for support, cut it or combine it.

Use this revision test on every paragraph

1. Main job: Can you name the paragraph’s purpose in one sentence?
2. Evidence: Does it include a concrete detail, example, or result?
3. Reflection: Does it explain why the detail matters?
4. Connection: Does it lead logically to the next paragraph?

Then revise at the sentence level. Remove filler openings, repeated claims, and abstract language that hides the actor. If you wrote “leadership was demonstrated” or “a commitment to service was developed,” rewrite with a person doing something specific. Strong scholarship prose usually becomes better when it becomes shorter.

Ask someone else to read for these questions

• What is the clearest impression you have of me after reading this?
• Where did you want more detail?
• Where did the essay sound generic?
• What sentence felt most memorable, and why?
• After reading, do you understand why this scholarship matters now?

If a reader cannot answer those questions clearly, the essay likely needs sharper focus rather than more decoration.

Mistakes to Avoid in This Scholarship Essay

Some errors weaken otherwise strong applicants because they make the essay sound interchangeable or unearned. Avoid these on purpose.

• Cliché openings. Do not begin with lines such as “I have always wanted to be a nurse” or “From a young age.” Start with a real moment.
• Generic service language. “Helping people” is too broad unless you define what kind of help, in what setting, and what you learned from doing it.
• Listing without interpreting. A résumé in paragraph form is not an essay. After each example, explain its significance.
• Overwriting. Long, inflated sentences can make sincere experiences sound less credible. Choose clarity over grandeur.
• Unfocused hardship narratives. If you discuss adversity, connect it to action, judgment, and next steps. Do not leave the reader with pain but no direction.
• Weak fit. Because this scholarship is tied to Loyola University Chicago, make sure your essay reflects your actual educational path there rather than sounding portable to any nursing program.
• Invented detail. Never exaggerate hours, titles, impact, or financial circumstances. Precision builds trust; invention destroys it.

Finally, check the application instructions for word count, formatting, and deadline requirements. A strong essay can still lose force if it ignores the basic rules of submission.

A Practical Drafting Plan You Can Use This Week

If you are staring at a blank page, use this short process.

1. Day 1: Spend 20 to 30 minutes brainstorming in the four buckets. Generate more material than you need.
2. Day 1: Choose one opening moment and two or three supporting examples that best fit the prompt.
3. Day 2: Build a simple outline: opening scene, formative insight, evidence of action, current gap and why support matters, forward-looking conclusion.
4. Day 2: Draft quickly without polishing every sentence.
5. Day 3: Revise for structure and paragraph purpose before editing style.
6. Day 3: Tighten language, add concrete detail, and cut repetition.
7. Day 4: Get feedback from one careful reader, then make final revisions.

Your goal is not to sound impressive in the abstract. Your goal is to make the committee see a real person with a credible record, a clear next step, and a thoughtful reason this scholarship would matter. If you can do that with specificity and reflection, your essay will already stand apart from the generic pile.