How to Craft Your Essay for the Mary Tolan Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a compelling narrative, organize your thoughts into four key material buckets:

• Background: Reflect on your personal history, experiences, and influences that have shaped your educational journey. Consider significant moments or challenges that have contributed to your current aspirations.
• Achievements: List your relevant accomplishments, including academic performance, leadership roles, community service, or extracurricular activities. Use specific metrics or outcomes to highlight the impact of your efforts.
• The Gap: Identify any gaps in your experience or education that the scholarship will help you address. Explain why further study at Loyola University Chicago is essential for your development and future goals.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal details that showcase your values, interests, and motivations. Use anecdotes to bring your story to life and connect with the reader on a human level.

Outline Your Essay Structure

Creating a clear outline will help you organize your thoughts and ensure a logical flow. Consider the following structure:

1. Introduction: Start with a concrete moment or scene that illustrates your journey or motivation. Avoid generic statements.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate each paragraph to one of the four buckets. Use the STAR method to detail specific situations, tasks, actions, and results related to your achievements and background.
3. Conclusion: Reflect on your journey and articulate your commitment to making a positive impact in your community or field of study. Reiterate how the scholarship will facilitate your goals.

Drafting Voice and Style

As you draft your essay, maintain an active voice. Use specific language to convey your experiences and insights. Avoid clichés and vague expressions of passion; instead, provide concrete examples that demonstrate your commitment and drive. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to the overall narrative.

Revision and the “So What?” Factor

After completing your draft, take a step back and review your work. Ask yourself, “So what?” for each section. What insights have you gained, and why do they matter? Ensure that your reflections are clear and impactful. Seek feedback from peers or mentors to refine your message and improve clarity.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of these common mistakes:

• Avoid starting with clichés or overly broad statements.
• Do not fabricate experiences or achievements; authenticity is crucial.
• Steer clear of passive voice; use active constructions to engage the reader.
• Ensure that each paragraph serves a purpose and contributes to your overall narrative.