How to Write a Compelling Essay for the Brendan O'Brien Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a well-rounded essay, consider the following four material buckets:

• Background: Reflect on your personal history, including your upbringing, educational experiences, and any challenges you've faced. What has shaped your perspective?
• Achievements: Identify key accomplishments in your academic and extracurricular life. Include specific metrics, such as GPA, leadership roles, or projects that demonstrate your commitment and impact.
• The Gap: Consider what you currently lack in your education or experience that this scholarship would help address. How will receiving this scholarship support your academic journey and future goals?
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that reveal your values and character. What makes you unique, and how do your experiences inform your goals?

Outline Your Essay

Organize your thoughts into a clear outline. A suggested structure might be:

1. Introduction: Start with a concrete moment or story that captures your reader’s attention. Avoid clichés and instead focus on a specific experience that reflects your journey.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate a paragraph to each of the four material buckets. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your overall narrative.
3. Conclusion: Reflect on how the scholarship will impact your future. Reinforce your commitment to using your education for positive change.

Drafting Voice and Style

As you draft your essay, maintain an active voice. Be specific and accountable in your language. Instead of saying, “I worked hard,” specify what you did and the results of your efforts. For example, “I led a team project that increased our club’s membership by 30%.” This clarity will help your essay resonate more with the committee.

Revision and the “So What?” Factor

After drafting, take a break before revising. When you return to your essay, ask yourself, “So what?” for each major point you make. Ensure that each section reflects not just what you have done, but why it matters. Consider seeking feedback from peers or mentors to gain new perspectives.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Keep an eye out for these common pitfalls:

• Clichés: Avoid overused phrases and generalizations. Be original in your expression.
• Lack of Specificity: Ensure your achievements and experiences are detailed and quantified where possible.
• Passive Voice: Use active voice to make your writing more engaging and direct.