How to Write a Compelling Essay for the Brooks-Drew Scholarship

Brainstorming Across the Four Buckets

To create a compelling narrative, consider these four material buckets:

• Background: Reflect on the experiences that have shaped your educational journey. Consider family influences, significant challenges, or pivotal moments that have directed your path.
• Achievements: List your academic and extracurricular accomplishments. Quantify your achievements wherever possible, such as leadership roles, projects completed, or awards received.
• The Gap: Identify what you lack in your current experience and how further study at UMass Amherst will help fill that gap. This could be specific skills, knowledge, or opportunities.
• Personality: Infuse your essay with personal anecdotes that showcase your values and character. Specific details about your interests, motivations, and aspirations will help the committee connect with you.

Outline Your Essay

Organize your thoughts into a clear outline. A typical structure could include:

1. Introduction: Start with a vivid moment or scene that encapsulates your journey or aspirations.
2. Body Paragraphs: Dedicate each paragraph to one of the four buckets. Use the STAR method to illustrate your achievements and the impact of your experiences.
3. Conclusion: Reflect on how the scholarship will enable you to achieve your goals and contribute positively to your community.

Drafting Voice and Style

When drafting your essay, maintain an active voice and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Use specific details and metrics to support your claims. Avoid vague statements and clichés that do not provide insight into your character or experiences.

Revision and the “So What?” Factor

After your initial draft, take time to revise. Ask yourself, “So what?” for each section. Ensure that every paragraph reflects not only what you did but also what you learned and how it matters to your future and the community. Seek feedback from peers or mentors to refine your narrative.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Be mindful of these common pitfalls:

• Avoid starting with clichés or overly broad statements.
• Do not rely on vague expressions of passion without evidence.
• Steer clear of passive voice; always highlight your actions.
• Do not fabricate experiences or achievements; honesty is crucial.